Parenting is a big job but how do we do it most
effectively especially when it comes to discipline? While parenting we do not want to use force
and aggression nor punishment. When disciplining
a child we need to take in consideration that they are humans and have feelings
as much as we are. They are not just
there for us to boss around.
In discipline we need
to make sure that we show respect and we will receive respect. We need to not let our anger to take over our
mind and mouth but to let our mind take over our anger. We may start with a polite request such as “would
you please have the living room clean before our guests come over?” If this
does not work we move to an “I” message in which we express how it makes us
feel. For example “I would really appreciate it if you would get this room
clean because it really embarrasses me when it is messy and somebody comes
over.” We may even have to get to the firm statement. This is just bolder and
straight to the point but still not letting our anger overcome us.
The last step is to use
logical consequence teach them why it is logical for them to obey. This also includes asking them to help make
the natural consequence. Many times if
we stick with it a child will eventually go overboard on their natural consequence
and then it brings you to be a good guy saying no I don’t think we need to go
that far. While they are also learning a
lesson.
What we don’t realize
when it comes to children their biggest need is to have contact and have
belonging. When children do not get this
feeling of love they do rash things to get any attention even if it is not pleasant
at least they receive contact. I believe
that to also help become the best discipliner is to show love to your children
this will help them stay away from doing dumb things to get your attention.
