Parenting is a big job but how do we do it most effectively especially when it comes to discipline?  While parenting we do not want to use force and aggression nor punishment.  When disciplining a child we need to take in consideration that they are humans and have feelings as much as we are.  They are not just there for us to boss around. 

In discipline we need to make sure that we show respect and we will receive respect.  We need to not let our anger to take over our mind and mouth but to let our mind take over our anger.  We may start with a polite request such as “would you please have the living room clean before our guests come over?” If this does not work we move to an “I” message in which we express how it makes us feel. For example “I would really appreciate it if you would get this room clean because it really embarrasses me when it is messy and somebody comes over.” We may even have to get to the firm statement. This is just bolder and straight to the point but still not letting our anger overcome us.

The last step is to use logical consequence teach them why it is logical for them to obey.  This also includes asking them to help make the natural consequence.  Many times if we stick with it a child will eventually go overboard on their natural consequence and then it brings you to be a good guy saying no I don’t think we need to go that far.  While they are also learning a lesson.

What we don’t realize when it comes to children their biggest need is to have contact and have belonging.  When children do not get this feeling of love they do rash things to get any attention even if it is not pleasant at least they receive contact.  I believe that to also help become the best discipliner is to show love to your children this will help them stay away from doing dumb things to get your attention. 

Parenting is a big job but how do we do it most effectively especially when it comes to discipline?  While parenting we do not want to use force and aggression nor punishment.  When disciplining a child we need to take in consideration that they are humans and have feelings as much as we are.  They are not just there for us to boss around. 

In discipline we need to make sure that we show respect and we will receive respect.  We need to not let our anger to take over our mind and mouth but to let our mind take over our anger.  We may start with a polite request such as “would you please have the living room clean before our guests come over?” If this does not work we move to an “I” message in which we express how it makes us feel. For example “I would really appreciate it if you would get this room clean because it really embarrasses me when it is messy and somebody comes over.” We may even have to get to the firm statement. This is just bolder and straight to the point but still not letting our anger overcome us.

The last step is to use logical consequence teach them why it is logical for them to obey.  This also includes asking them to help make the natural consequence.  Many times if we stick with it a child will eventually go overboard on their natural consequence and then it brings you to be a good guy saying no I don’t think we need to go that far.  While they are also learning a lesson.

What we don’t realize when it comes to children their biggest need is to have contact and have belonging.  When children do not get this feeling of love they do rash things to get any attention even if it is not pleasant at least they receive contact.  I believe that to also help become the best discipliner is to show love to your children this will help them stay away from doing dumb things to get your attention. 

Why is the Father so instrumental in the family?  Fathers play a huge role in their children’s lives.  They help in so many parts of the growth of children.  I was doing some research on fatherhood and I found some valuable statements that amazed me on how much the father is needed in the family.

            First off God has given us the amazing ability to become parents and it is a calling that is treasured above all others I like a quote that I found that really points this out for father imp articular “God chooses ordinary men for fatherhood to accomplish His extraordinary plan.”  So what are some key points in becoming a perfect father?  I found many ways of doing so but some of my favorites focus on how the need of a father to be involved with his children is tremendous. We can do this by helping them solve problems or to simply participate in activities with our children.  They need to show support not just financially but also emotionally, mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually and should not be ashamed of anything they do.  Love is one of the biggest things a father can do to help his child excel to become an outstanding adult.  Fathers should learn to do this through words and affection which can involve a simple smile.  This is a really hard one for to handle correctly but it is very plausible. 

In discipline a father must learn how to share his beliefs and use explanations and reasoning rather than using force.   Father also needs to learn how to schedule time with their children and to just sacrifice time when it may not always be convenient, as long as just spend time with them they will feel your love.  All of these things are crucial in being a father.  They will help our kids not have as many school dropouts, substance abuse, teen pregnancies, crime and violence, unsuccessful socialization in children, gender development, and aggression.  Which increase from an absence of a father.

Communication is a necessary thing in society.  It is what makes the world go around.  It is very powerful in being inspiring and damaging.  How is it that most of our communication is misread?  If we learn the beauty of patience and try to make sure that we understand each we will see a huge difference in all of our relationship.

Now first off we need to understand the principles of communication.  Many of us don’t realize that there are three ways of communicating.  First we have the obvious which is verbal communication.  This includes the first two the first being through words than we have intonation which is the tone in which we speak.  Then we have non-verbal communication. 

To carry on a conversation we have a person that starts the conversation they have to encode the message to be able to send it.  Then the other person has to decode it and then they have to do the same process to give an answer back.  The thing is people have different ways that then encode.  Now we can see where a lot of bad communication comes into play.

The key is when you are having a conversation especially one that is about a sensitive topic we stop and make sure that we are being understood correctly.  It takes patience but it saving you from a huge fight.  Simply just stop and put your hand on their shoulder or hand and say “So say so I understand that you thought… right?”  These few seemly ridiculous things can improve your conversations in your everyday life.

Can a crisis bring a family closer together?  A crisis in a family is a very good opportunity for a family to become closer together.  We do this with an open communication in the family and especially with our spouse. 

It is important to seek for counsel, guidance, help, and to share your feelings with your spouse. When we do this we are opening ourselves and showing that we are trying.  We also see things that usually may be misread if not really talked about.  This starts the family off in a great start.  When a couple will talk about a problem before bringing I up to the family it helps each other get on the same page. So that when they go to the family to have open conversation the parents on are on the same page and they will not start a fight about certain topics because they have already discussed it.

What are some things we can do to protect our marriages from ending?  I think that we need to stay away from social media, in many forms of it.  I say that this includes some of the biggest reasons we know of for divorce. Such as pornography or idealized models, most of our expectations come from what we see on television.  Marriage is fabulous and totally worth it but is it hard work.  It takes a lot of working together and communication to make things work. 

 Also another one is to not socialize with old friends of the opposite gender by yourself.  Also do not share problems with them those are things that you should discuss with your spouse.  When we discuss problems or stresses it is a time to connect.  If we do this with somebody other than our spouse we then are setting ourselves up.

How do we keep a strong relationship after marriage? I like these four steps that a President Kimball the prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints suggested to use.  The first step he said was to go into marriage with a good selection of a spouse and have the same main values and goals.  I really like this step a lot times people just get caught up in physical reactions they do not realize that they really do not have the same goals and values.  This is a big step into a successful marriage. 

            The second step is to have great unselfishness.  Many marriages end because of selfishness.  When we only think of ourselves in every situation it gets easy to see every negative impact, even if it is not meant to be a negative response. 

            The third step is to have a complete obedience of the commandments.  Each of the Ten Commandments are there to help the family and help us become one. They teach us patience, obedience, and love for others. Then fourth is to continue courtship. This gives us time to focus on each other and take some time to forget the daily problems and to remember why we came together in the first place.