Parenting is a big job but how do we do it most effectively especially when it comes to discipline?  While parenting we do not want to use force and aggression nor punishment.  When disciplining a child we need to take in consideration that they are humans and have feelings as much as we are.  They are not just there for us to boss around. 

In discipline we need to make sure that we show respect and we will receive respect.  We need to not let our anger to take over our mind and mouth but to let our mind take over our anger.  We may start with a polite request such as “would you please have the living room clean before our guests come over?” If this does not work we move to an “I” message in which we express how it makes us feel. For example “I would really appreciate it if you would get this room clean because it really embarrasses me when it is messy and somebody comes over.” We may even have to get to the firm statement. This is just bolder and straight to the point but still not letting our anger overcome us.

The last step is to use logical consequence teach them why it is logical for them to obey.  This also includes asking them to help make the natural consequence.  Many times if we stick with it a child will eventually go overboard on their natural consequence and then it brings you to be a good guy saying no I don’t think we need to go that far.  While they are also learning a lesson.

What we don’t realize when it comes to children their biggest need is to have contact and have belonging.  When children do not get this feeling of love they do rash things to get any attention even if it is not pleasant at least they receive contact.  I believe that to also help become the best discipliner is to show love to your children this will help them stay away from doing dumb things to get your attention.